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“Escape Plan” looks amazing. Not just because it has Stallone and Schwarzenegger together, but also because it looks like it makes no sense at all – and in some spots, looks completely absurd. All of these ingredients are essentially part of the recipe which is that of, “Awesome”. Judging from the trailer, Stallone is a master of breaking out of prisons. A group of people want him to test this new state of the art facility to see how full proof it is. He seems to agree to do this in the trailer but then is electrocuted, blindfolded, injected with some unknown substance, and then taken to the super secret, state of the art facility. This is where it really starts to look ridiculous (as they pan back to get a shot of the awful CGI prison). Stallone then seems to receive the typical prison welcoming by getting into a scuffle where he then meets the newly jacked up Arnold. It is then discovered that this was a big ploy to punish Stallone as he essentially falls of the grid. Action prevails as Arnold and Sly bash there way through security guards that wear masks that look as if they are from mars, while people on the outside try to help as well, one being Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson. The goal? To break out of this bizarre prison and to get revenge on who set him up. This shit looks totally awesome.
“Alien Uprising” or “U.F.O” is not something that will be in the theaters….ever. But man, it looks stupid! The trailer is kind of vague in terms of being able to explain the story in any depth, but basically, all is great for everyone, until the power goes out and of course, random alien mayhem. If you are an action buff, and have never heard of this….just watch the trailer. Don’t research it or it will ruin the surprise at the end!
Finally, the third awesome trailer for movies that I need to see soon, is for this gem. “Legendary”, aka “Tomb of the Dragon”, stars Dolph Lundgren and Scott Adkins. If you not familiar with Adkins, he’s a rising action star with his first real U.S. major role being Expendables 2, however he was in a bunch of other sweet movies. He sort of looks like Ben Affleck if Affleck were an awful actor and could kick peoples asses.
Travis (Adkins) and his team (I’m guessing they are scientists) travel to China to capture some creature that is said to be tormenting some tiny village. This creature is of course not something that is supposed to be real, so they have to travel to see it for themselves. All hell breaks loose when Harker, the legendary bounty hunter, also wants to get his piece of the action!
I’m seeing a pattern here with these last two trailers…..totally awesome action stars and over the top terrible sci-fi effects. I know for a fact I’ll be in the theatre for “Escape Plan”. The other two I will try to see soon so that I can give my full review on them. If you have seen any of these, feel free to comment!
I’m not sure why it took so long to put this one out, I should almost be ashamed of myself. Whatever the reason may be, I bring you the new Mad Max shirt. This shirt rules. Printed on a green t-shirt, this shirt will be a total conversation starter. This is currently available in our Etsy store and eBay store and will be up on the main site sometime this week.
Later this week, I’m going to be continuing my quest to make sure I’ve seen everything on the AOBG 2011 top 100 action movie list. I find myself at around number 62 with the next movie on the list being, “Stone Cold” starring Brian Bosworth.
I’ll probably have my take on this movie later in the week so if you haven’t seen it yet, you have some time to find this baby and check it out. The trailer for this movie looks totally sweet. It was always one of those action movies that slipped by me and I never ended up seeing.
I’m going to start off in saying that I was not excited to watch this movie and that the trailer for it made it look way worse than it actually was. Let’s take a look at what this film is about.
“Christopher Lambert and Sean Connery star in the epic tale of immortality that launched one of the most beloved action-adventure series in film and TV history. After Scottish clansman Connor MacLeod (Lambert) discovers his true identity as a member of a legion of immortals, he embarks on a legendary journey spanning continents and centuries, eventually landing in modern-day New York City. Connor faces his ultimate test when other immortals begin to appear in the city, leading to a titanic showdown where only one can claim victory. Directed by Russell Mulcahy and featuring a soundtrack by Queen, this is the modern classic that has attracted millions of warrior fans worldwide. This is HIGHLANDER!” – Amazon
I ended up enjoying this way more than I figured I would. The movie has its ridiculous moments but it ends up making the film a blast to watch. In the beginning of the movie, there is an appearance from wrestling legends, “The Fabulous Free-birds”. Whats hilarious about this scene is that the film makers found it necessary to add sound effects to the punches that were thrown in the match. The fact that the Queen soundtrack was playing during this scene made it even more ridiculous as you could hear the loud punches during the song. The whole opening sequence is really sweet. Right after the opening scene there is a sword fight in the parking garage of the event. The fight is super long and involves a beheading and several exploding cars, and not one regular civilian strolls into the garage for the entire scene. Hilarious.
The battle scenes from the flashbacks were also really funny. Two armies do battle and collide clashing swords while doing this unenthusiastic yelling. It immediately reminded me of those bad civil war reenactments that you see small towns do sometimes.
Kurgan, the lead villain, is supposed to be the most powerful immortal there is. The actor that played him was so terrible, he was awesome. He looked like someone that you would see in a gay S&M club in 1984. To add to the ridiculousness of his character, they do a scene where they show that he has a special case that holds his powerful sword. The sword is in multiple pieces inside of the carrying case because it makes so much sense that a powerful strong sword would be something that you would assemble…
Perhaps the scene that really made me laugh was when Highlander is shown in a flashback meeting up with his wife who in the scene looks different. Her hair was really disheveled and she had weird white speckles all over her face and giant dark circles under her eyes. She also had dead-like, code blue lips yet she was being portrayed in a happy scene in a field carrying a baby lamb. I thought for a second she was supposed to be ill, but that wasn’t the case. It was just really, really, terrible makeup to show that she was supposed to be an old lady!
Highlander is definitely something that you should see if you have not yet seen it. I already see some sweet baby onesie ideas for the future.
Oh man. Liam Neeson has been in some lame movies but this is not one of them. If you love action movies, then you will LOVE this. Neeson plays a guy who used to work for the government and hes amazing at tracking people down. He describes his job to his daughter as “a preventer”. This isn’t like Bourne Identity. Neeson is an actual believable bad ass unlike Matt Daemon…
Neeson’s daughter gets kidnapped and put into the sex slave trade by Russians. From the get-go, Neeson tells them that they have one chance to return her immediately or that he will find them and kill them. He tells them that he has a skill set that is used to make people like them miserable. From there on its non stop ass kicking. This movie rules and I highly suggest seeing it.
There were two scenes that stuck out for me, that I found really funny. When Neeson infiltrates a sex slave hideout and then takes off in a truck while getting shot at, the truck swerves all over the place smashing into randomly placed metal barrels. Of course the barrels are filled to the brim with explosive liquids! Those are always just sitting around. The second scene to keep an eye on is the final fight scene. The guy Neeson is beating the shit out of has a fancy novelty knife that he whips out to stab with. The camera gets a super closeup of the knife, but they sort of forgot to swap the knives and its clearly the prop one made of that weird cheesy metal so that nobody actually gets cut.
Other than these two stupid scenes, the whole movie is awesome.
If you see this movie… then you can get super excited for this..
I made it through “No Retreat, No Surrender 2: Raging Thunder” and it was beyond awful. It had NOTHING to do with the first movie. Some parts were so bad that I couldn’t help but laugh. This “sequel” has Scott Wylde, an American kickboxer, going to Cambodia to rescue his girlfriend from Russian and Vietnamese troops. Scott Wylde is played by Loren Avedon, who might possibly be the worst actor ever. He was built like Bob Saget with Scott Baio hair. His only saving grace was that he was a pretty impressive martial artist and the fight scenes were well choreographed. Unfortunately the creative fight sequences were ruined by the unbelievable facial expressions and terrible acting. The main villain was most hilarious. For some reason he had super strength and when he fought people, he was able to toss them as if he were a Marvel character. To cap it off, the final fight scene may have been one of the most ridiculous final fight scenes that I have ever watched. I’m not kidding. It involves the main villain pulling a jeep into a crocodile pit by a rope while Wylde panics to try and start the jeep so that he can pull away instead of jumping out of the jeep that’s moving backwards 1 MPH. It was amazing. How amazing? This amazing:
So AOBG had this movie at the 100 spot right next to “Marked for Death” and “Dirty Harry”. This is absurd. So far, the top 100 list is not going well. Stay tuned, in a few days I will announce what the net film is to watch, maybe you can watch it too!
Months ago I had come across a blog that I love and frequent regularly, AOBG . This is a blog devoted to action movies. The content on this site is well worth the visit, everything from reviews to kill counts. One thing they do have is a yearly action Top 100 movies which I have vowed to get through (only films I haven’t seen). This is a great way to get new ideas, etc for shirts hence the Chow Yun Fat shirt that I decided to make after watching “Hard Boiled”. This week I am going to watch “No Retreat, No Surrender 2: Raging Thunder.”
If you are unfamiliar with the “No Retreat, No Surrender” series, you are in for a treat. I’m not sure of the premise of the sequel, but the first movie is amazing. The movie features Van Damme as the villain, who really only has a limited role in the movie and doesn’t get too much screen time. It’s one of his first films so he doesn’t really have many lines either. The movie focus’s around Jason, the son of a Karate teacher who is forced to move his family because of threats from a Seattle crime syndicate who just so happens to have a top martial artist of their own on their roster, Ivan from Russia (Van Damme). Jason and his family move into a new neighborhood, where Jason spends his time hanging out in an abandoned house training in the martial arts….by himself….with Bruce Lee’s ghost. It’s amazing.
Although I have a hard time seeing how a sequel to this masterpiece could be any good, I will have to try an block out the first film to give this movie a chance. If you have seen the second, feel free to leave some thoughts on it!
After my action rant recently, I had stumbled upon a few cool blogs from dudes that are really into action films: http://www.allouttabubblegum.com and http://www.mattmovieguy.com/ , who refers to himself as the “Direct to Video Connoisseur” (I am jealous of that amazing title). These blogs are loaded with information on great action films. It was on the first blog listed that I came across their 2011 list of the greatest action films of all time. Way down at the #1 spot was John Woo’s “Hard Boiled”. I had never heard of this film being primarily a fan of domestic action films. I had only little experience with director John Woo from Van Damme’s “Hard Target”. I loved “Hard Target” and after reading other reviews for “Hard Boiled”, I had to see what the fuss was all about. Sure you can go anywhere to find a review of this film, but I think you will find my take a little different.
The film stars Chow Yun-fat who plays “Tequila” who is a cheesy, over the top, cop who’s partner is killed in a gang shootout. One of the gang’s high ranked members is an undercover cop named Tony who teams up with Tequila to take out the crime syndicate. The film builds up to an ultimate showdown at a hospital where they both need to fight an army of gangsters by themselves, while rescuing innocent civilians and all of the babies.
Now before I get into what makes this movie awesome, lets take a peek at other movies that came out in 1992 in terms of action films:
Rapid Fire
Under Siege
Lethal Weapon 3
Universal Solder
Etc.
By looking at this list from 1992, you can also get an idea of what has already been released prior. Maybe I’m not quite understanding why people consider this the greatest action film ever made? If the reason is that the movie is so awesomely terrible and unintentionally hilarious, then I can agree. Here is something that made me laugh out loud; a little taste:
This is just a sample of the things that made me laugh loudly. Among other things were men on motorcycles that would explode after being shot and the undercover agent, Tony, getting shot point blank in the back with a shot gun from 4 feet away, not even phasing him as he manages to take out a bunch of gangsters and then goes to the hospital to reveal a very minor looking back injury. There was also repeated use of the curse word “effing”. Every other swear word in the book was in the movie so when multiple characters said “effing”, it made me laugh. There was also a scene where Tequila bursts into the Police superintendent’s office with a sketch of a suspect yelling and demanding to know who the person was. The suspect drawing was possibly the worst thing I had ever seen, mostly because it didn’t at all resemble anyone in the movie.
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| “Who is this super generic picture of!” |
All kidding aside,….ok maybe just one more:
All kidding aside, the action scenes were good in the movie, but legendary and amazing? No way. If the movie were made in 1982, I would have thought it was pretty amazing, but this movie looked super cheesy and low rent in comparison to what had been already made leading up to 1992. Legendary, this movie is not. Do I suggest watching it? Yes, its a fun movie to sit through and poke fun at. Will I be pushing for a Chow Yun-fat t-shirt to be made? Indeed.
Often I use this blog to write about completely random things, wether it be my addiction to candy, the beer I am most into, or what I’m doing around the house. This post is serious and I suggest you have a seat so that you can take all this in.
I grew up on action films. It was a fantastic time and I will never forget what I was able to grow up seeing and experiencing. Things have been ruined with all of the different political groups and everyone wanting laws and regulations for everything imaginable. When I was young, I could go to the toy store and I could get a toy gun that looked as if I would wipe out an army of scum bag terrorists. Now you are lucky if you can find a toy gun, and if you do, it’s neon orange or yellow. I understand why this happened, but it still blows.
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| What fun is this toy gun if it feels like it should come with a tutu. |
Even the action figures are different. Sure you have the comic book action figures, which I suppose are the coolest choice nowadays, but when I was young, we had action figures for kids that were amazing. Action figures based on characters from R-Rated action films.
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| I loved this toy as a kid. It was my all time favorite. I had the mini version and then I also owned the gigantic version. |
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| This was the only picture I could find online of the gigantic 16 inch Arnold. |
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