Friday Night Movie: Skin Trade (2015)

It’s been a long week but it’s finally Friday, the baby is asleep, my wife is out at the movies with a friend, and I sit here with a glass of Argentinian Cabernet and a freshly purchased rental from Amazon:

09bc8-skin-trade-affiche_480678_40105I had blogged about wanting to see this a while back, and now it’s a reality.  Not only do I get to watch it, I get to see it before it’s in the theatres!  As if this will ever make it to any theatre near me!

It’s been a while since I’ve sat down and watched a movie for this blog.  The reason for this blog’s existence was to chronicle every inspiration for the shirts at, which is basically tech, bad movies, music, beer, and literature.  Lately doing movie reviews has become almost impossible with our schedules.  Tonight is the perfect night to watch this movie, and possibly get inspired to come up with a new shirt idea.

Roughly 90 Minutes later…

What a masterpiece.  So here’s the deal.  From what I’ve read, Dolph was inspired to tell this story because of an article he had read in the paper regarding a cargo container full of girls that died from heat exhaustion and suffocation.  He pays tribute to this incident in the film when a shipment of girls arrives at a loading dock.  Ron Pearlman plays Viktor Dragovic, the godfather of the sex slave industry.  In the scene at the loading docks, they discover the shipment of girls was a disaster, as they were all dead and covered in flies.

This is the scene that makes Dolph’s character, Nick Cassidy, obsessed with shutting down this industry.  He has a daughter of his own which further motivates him, as he can’t stand the thought of a young girl getting forced into slavery.

Everyone in this film has a terrible accent.  Ron Pearlman’s Serbian accent, is one of the worst I’ve ever heard.  Dolph Lundgren speaks in, what appears to be, some sort of regional American accent.  It’s so bad, that I wasn’t a 100% sure.

Tony Jaa plays a cop in Thailand that is also obsessed with shutting down the industry.  His English in the movie is so terrible that there must have been a discussion as to whether or not his scenes should have subtitles.  I’d also argue that Ron Pearlman should have had subtitles as well.

skintrade3Without getting into spoilers, Dolph ends up getting extremely wrapped up in this game, becoming a pawn in police corruption, and causing Dolph and Jaa to partake in numerous fight scenes before discovering that they share the same goal.  The fight scenes are great, well choreographed, and realistic in that Jaa takes some Ivan Drago style blows which do some heavy damage.

IMG_1363.CR2Dolph Lundgren continues to write and participate in awesome action movies.  While guys like Van Damme and Seagal struggle to make anything worth watching, Dolph remains on the cusp of breaking back into theatres.

A few non-spoiler notes that I took during the movie:

-When Tony Jaa rescues a random sex slave at the beginning of the movie, he tells her that she can go home.  He then gives her a tiny stack of bills from a bag full of cash like a total cheapskate.

-When Ron Pearlman first appears in the movie, please be careful not to have liquids in your mouth while he speaks his first set of lines.

-There is a scene in the movie where Dolph is stressed out from his job and comes home to his wife.  She ask’s him if he forgot something, hinting that it’s their 13th anniversary, which he missed.  He tells her that when they wake up in the morning, he will go out and get her a dozen beautiful roses.  She then gives him sex.  I’m pretty sure this would never happen for any guy who pulled that one.

-There is a chase scene with Jaa chasing Lundgren, where Jaa is on foot running, and Lundgren is trying to escape him on numerous vehicles.  Somehow, throughout the entire chase scene, Jaa remains about 15 feet behind him with no explanation other than: “He must be the fastest guy on earth.”


-There is a great scene where Dolph needs to extract information from a guy who was just shot numerous times in the chest and appeared to be dead.  Dolph revives him with compression CPR…

This movie is worth watching if you want to see a fun action movie.  Without giving away the ending, it’s definitely not an ending you can guess.

The movie is on Amazon for a $9.99 rental because it’s a “rental before the theatrical release.”  It’s well worth it.  If you decide to check it out, rent it from the Amazon link below as a small portion of that goes to me and it helps keep my sites up and running!

Click to be taken to Amazon for this rental as I get a commission from Amazon to support this blog. Thanks!

Animal House Inspired College Toddler Shirt!

New item this week at  I’ve been wanting to create a toddler version of this shirt for quite some time.  This week I finally got around to it, trying to replicate the shirt in the film as good as I possibly could.  The end result was fantastic!

This shirt is now available in our eBay store, Etsy Shop, and at “Toga! Toga!”

Netflix Alert: "Messenger of Death"

    There are some beauties on Netflix this month.  Here is one from one of my favorite actors of all time, Charles Bronson.  I have seen most of his films but somehow missed this one.  “Messenger of Death” is the story of this family in a private Mormon community that was was slaughtered by two evil and mysterious visitors wielding shotguns.  They destroy 3 women and 6 little children.  Like most Bronson movies, there isn’t much left for the imagination in this brutal scene (although they spare you the imagery of the kids actually getting hit with bullets).  Bronson plays a station wagon driving (with wood paneling) reporter who covers the story, and (big shocker) decides to take matters into his own hands.

    Like most Bronson movies, the police fail to handle the case correctly due to the laws holding them back. In this case, they have to release the prime suspect from custody unless they planned on charging him with something, plus they say that the crime was outside their jurisdiction (which is kind of hilarious because they worked the crime scene.)  Of course Bronson thinks all of this is bullshit.  Even though Bronson knows the prime suspect they let go isn’t the killer, he is convinced that its one of two Mormon brothers, both blaming each other for the crime.  Bronson eventually gets wrapped up in trying to prevent a group of angry Mormons from hunting down who they believe committed this crime.  Things heat up when an elaborate scheme starts to unfold revealing the real motive behind all that has taken place.  
    Not my favorite Bronson movie by no stretch, but definitely not a stinker.  I think my problem with the movie was just that Bronson was way to laid back in this.  He lacked the bad ass element and horrible dialog that he was known for, especially for being a Cannon release which was known for being his worst (best) work.
    Perhaps the icing on the cake in this movie, is when a character during a fairly climatic scene puts a gun up to his temple and pulls the trigger which results in a bang, s teeny puff of smoke, and perhaps the weakest bullet on earth as it doesn’t exit his head.  One of the more ridiculous scenes I’ve encountered in a movie.  You still get to see a few classic Bronson hand to hand combat scenes so the movie doesn’t totally disappoint.  This is one to watch on a lazy Sunday.  Not a classic, but enjoyable.
One of two Bronson Shirts on our website

Our Bronson shirts are available on our website, eBay store, and Etsy stores.

For all Adult fans of "Road House"…

   Like I said in the previous post for the “Road House” onesie, my goal for a while was to design a pretty sweet T-Shirt for this movie.  I started with the onesie because I had an idea what I wanted to do for that, but the shirt was still up in the air.  Browsing the google images for Swayze, I found a picture that I liked and figured I could do something to.  The end result…totally sweet:

This is available in our Etsy, eBay, and website!  Remember, prices are the lowest on our website because we don’t get slapped with fees!

Action 100: Highlander

   I’m going to start off in saying that I was not excited to watch this movie and that the trailer for it made it look way worse than it actually was.  Let’s take a look at what this film is about.

“Christopher Lambert and Sean Connery star in the epic tale of immortality that launched one of the most beloved action-adventure series in film and TV history. After Scottish clansman Connor MacLeod (Lambert) discovers his true identity as a member of a legion of immortals, he embarks on a legendary journey spanning continents and centuries, eventually landing in modern-day New York City. Connor faces his ultimate test when other immortals begin to appear in the city, leading to a titanic showdown where only one can claim victory. Directed by Russell Mulcahy and featuring a soundtrack by Queen, this is the modern classic that has attracted millions of warrior fans worldwide. This is HIGHLANDER!” – Amazon

   I ended up enjoying this way more than I figured I would.  The movie has its ridiculous moments but it ends up making the film a blast to watch.  In the beginning of the movie, there is an appearance from wrestling legends, “The Fabulous Free-birds”.  Whats hilarious about this scene is that the film makers found it necessary to add sound effects to the punches that were thrown in the match.  The fact that the Queen soundtrack was playing during this scene made it even more ridiculous as you could hear the loud punches during the song.  The whole opening sequence is really sweet.  Right after the opening scene there is a sword fight in the parking garage of the event.  The fight is super long and involves a beheading and several exploding cars, and not one regular civilian strolls into the garage for the entire scene. Hilarious.
   The battle scenes from the flashbacks were also really funny.   Two armies do battle and collide clashing swords while doing this unenthusiastic yelling.  It immediately reminded me of those bad civil war reenactments that you see small towns do sometimes.
    Kurgan, the lead villain, is supposed to be the most powerful immortal there is.  The actor that played him was so terrible, he was awesome.  He looked like someone that you would see in a gay S&M club in 1984. To add to the ridiculousness of his character, they do a scene where they show that he has a special case that holds his powerful sword.  The sword is in multiple pieces inside of the carrying case because it makes so much sense that a powerful strong sword would be something that you would assemble…

    Perhaps the scene that really made me laugh was when Highlander is shown in a flashback meeting up with his wife who in the scene looks different.  Her hair was really disheveled and she had weird white speckles all over her face and giant dark circles under her eyes.  She also had dead-like, code blue lips yet she was being portrayed in a happy scene in a field carrying a baby lamb.  I thought for a second she was supposed to be ill, but that wasn’t the case.  It was just really, really, terrible makeup to show that she was supposed to be an old lady!
    Highlander is definitely something that you should see if you have not yet seen it.  I already see some sweet baby onesie ideas for the future.

Brando Shirt

    I had been working some Brando art for the past 3 days trying to get an idea as to how I wanted the shirt to look. If you have seen “Apocalypse Now”, you are well aware of the many things that Marlon Brando’s character says.  His lines were amazing and they were delivered incredibly.  It’s a true classic. I wanted to pay tribute to Brando with this shirt and decided that I was going to use a similar design that I had once used years ago with a Jack Kerouac shirt I had done.

I’m pretty happy with how it turned out and received some good feedback on it from people via Facebook.  If you haven’t found us on Facebook yet be sure to “Like” us to get first updates on all new shirts and projects.

This shirt is now available in our etsy and ebay stores and will be on the main website very soon.  We have also made the shirt available here on our blog.

Small $17.00 USD Medium $17.00 USD Large $17.00 USD X-Large $17.00 USD XXL $18.00 USD

Serpico Shirt Style Change!

    So after sitting on the new Serpico Shirt for few days, I came to the realization that there was something off about the shirt.  I loved the idea, but the shirt was bland.  Serpico was not bland.  His sweet mustache…was not bland.  It was time to change it up.  So I printed the shirt on the same color as the “Commodore 80’s Shirt and used blue ink.  It was totally sweet looking.  This weekend was the Buffalo Wing Fest downtown, so I wore the shirt down there to see what the reactions would be.  People loved it.  The ticket guy commented on it and to top it off, a wing place out of New Orleans offered to give me a whole bunch of free wings if they could snap a picture of it.  That was it.  The Serpico shirt has now changed styles.

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