Halloween was pretty good this year. Honestly, we were sort of dreading it because last year was crazy, or at least it seemed that way. Like everything, its a learning experience. We learned from the things we did wrong last year. Here are a few rules for Halloween that we learned living in the city from two Halloweens at our house.
1) One piece of candy per kid.
-A lot of the times, you get caught up in handing out candy, you think you are pretty awesome, and the next thing you know, you are out of candy way too early.
2) Never let the kids see the stash.
-Keep your giant bowl full of candy inside the house and greet them outside with the candy in your hand. Don’t let them have any time to look at the different options. They have no choice. They get what you give them.
3) Keep different levels of Candy.
-This sound messed up, but its not. It makes total sense. Level 1 would be like Twix, Kit Kat, Snickers, etc. Level 2 would be like fun dip, pixie sticks, candy corn, and then the dreaded Level 3 would be Fancy Filled, Max Citrus, Atomic Fireball, etc. What’s that you say? You have never heard of these Level 3 candies? Nobody has..because they are disgusting. They usually come in a 5 pound bag for a few bucks. You keep the Level 1 candies for the kids you know and see in the neighborhood regularly. The Level 2 candy is for the other kids with costumes, and the Level 3 is for the kids with no costumes, the weird parents that are trick or treating, or the loser 15 year old kid still going door to door. Make them never want to come to your house again with a tasty Max Citrus.
4) Use the palm technique.
-Cuff the crappy candy in your hand so they cant see it and drop it in their bag, they won’t be able to tell what you just gave them.
Just a few rules to keep in mind to take control of your Halloween. No problems this time!
This year I answered the door as the legendary “Destroyer”, an old time Pro Wrestler from Buffalo.
|This is the legendary owner of The Super Sweet Shirt Company paying tribute to Dick Beyer “The Destroyer”.|
So what’s with the title of this blog entry? Well the mask I bought from “The Destroyer” himself fit me a little weird. Nicole thought that maybe it looked a bit KKKish. I got super defensive and said “No way!”. So we did a little test, sending out pictures to some friends and asking them what they thought I looked like. I received feedback like “Underwear bandit” and “is he wearing underwear on his head?” Still no KKK references. I was in the clear, and Nicole said it was cool that I greet the kids as the Destroyer. The kids were sort of frightened, probably because I looked like I could pummel everybody and their parents. Later that night, a group of sassy young ladies came up, mocking my costume as I gave them Level 3 candy, and one said, “Is that a KKK mask” jokingly. They were laughing and they obviously knew that it was not as it looks nothing like one, minus the fact that its white. But, I was forced to take it off. Nicole said, “If one person is thinking it, then there are probably more.” She was most likely right, although I was momentarily angry, not at Nicole, but at the fucking KKK for ruining my mask! It still worked out though as I just put on my new felt Mobster hat and greeted the kids with a glass of whiskey on stones like someone straight out of Mad Men. It was way more comfortable of a costume to be in. Halloween this year……pretty cool.
Look out this week, I have a boat load of new items coming out for the Holiday. I know i said I was halting all new designs until the new year, but I totally lied! Get ready!
Leave a Reply