Action 100 Continues: "Stone Cold"

    Later this week, I’m going to be continuing my quest to make sure I’ve seen everything on the AOBG 2011 top 100 action movie list.  I find myself at around number 62 with the next movie on the list being, “Stone Cold” starring Brian Bosworth.


    I’ll probably have my take on this movie later in the week so if you haven’t seen it yet, you have some time to find this baby and check it out.  The trailer for this movie looks totally sweet.  It was always one of those action movies that slipped by me and I never ended up seeing.

Action Movie Review: "To Live and Die in L.A."

    Oh my god…this movie was terrific.  Out of all the action movies I’ve reviewed since starting this, “To Live and Die in L.A.” was the most fun to watch.  Let’s take a look at the basic plot of the film:

Richard Chance and Jimmy Hart are United States Secret Service agents assigned as counterfeiting investigators in its Los Angeles field office. Chance has a reputation for reckless behavior, while Hart is three days away from retirement. Alone, Hart stakes out a warehouse in the desert thought to be a print house of counterfeiter Rick Masters. When Masters and his bodyguard kill Hart, Chance explains to his new partner, John Vukovich, that he will take Masters down no matter what.

I did some further reading about the movie before watching it only because the trailer looked so incredibly terrible.  While looking through numerous websites, I found this review for the movie:

“William Friedkin briefly revived his faltering career with this sleek, bleak thriller of a pair of secret service agents on the trail of a counterfeiter. William L. Peterson is the hotshot protégé of a career agent killed by the ruthless, almost feral counterfeiting genius Willem Dafoe (Platoon). Now Petersen, teamed with the smart but still green John Pankow (TV’s Mad About You), is ready to twist arms, lean on criminals, steal, and even murder to exact his revenge. The harrowing chase through the streets of Los Angeles that climaxes on the freeway at rush hour, where Friedkin’s brilliant twist sends them heading the wrong way, careening through a sea of cars coming straight at them, is still one of the most breathtaking car chases ever filmed. Friedkin’s edgy crime thriller, stylishly shot in steely blues against hazy red and orange skies by Robby Muller (Paris, Texas), paints a very thin line between the good guys and the bad guys, and Wang Chung’s techno soundtrack sets the proper mood–jumpy and alienated. It’s a cynical and very brutal look into the world of law enforcement (adapted by Friedkin and former Secret Service man Gerald Petievich from his novel) and a cold portrayal of the power games between cops and feds, and cops and informants. John Turturro, Dean Stockwell, and Robert Downey Sr. are featured in supporting roles. –Sean Axmaker”

Why did I post this review?  Because it makes this movie even better.  This movie was absolutely horrendous yet 100% amazing!  William Defoe plays the lead villain and is great.  Here are a few notes that I took while watching this thing:

  • The actor that plays the heroic cop sworn to get revenge is almost severely bow-legged, and he wears tight jeans and cowboy boots which only accents how ridiculous he looks.  Plus he is supposed to be this bad ass with a loose cannon attitude, which  makes everything he does and says in the movie, more hilarious. 

  • There is gratuitous male nudity in the movie including a full frontal view of the bow-legged cops entire set.  

  • A masterful collection of terrible lines.  Here were some of my favorite quotes:

      –Richard Chance: Guess what? Uncle Sam don’t give a shit about your expenses. You want bread, fuck a baker.

      –While a cop is chasing a suspect:
       Card Counterfeiter: Why are you chasing me? 
       John Vukovich: I don’t know, why you running? 
       Credit Card Counterfeiter: ‘Cause you’re chasing me.

                -Richard Chance: You know what this is? 
        Thomas Ling: What’s the game? 
        Richard Chance: It’s no game. Just walk. 
        Thomas Ling: Why? 
        Richard Chance: Why? Because if you don’t, I’ll blow your fucking heart out!
                -Richard Chance: [to Vukovich] You ain’t my partner! You ain’t even my fucking friend. In fact, let me give you a little piece of advice: you better get your ass into protection, baby! Because you ain’t shit on the streets! You understand that? You ain’t got the nuts! Kiss my ass! Pussy motherfucker!
I could fill a page with the amazing lines in this movie. It was almost like watching “Grand Theft Auto:Vice City” in movie form.
  • There is a repeated effect that they use in the movie for the multiple people that get shot directly in the face.  The effect looks as if someone fills a water balloon with fake blood and then just throws it at the actor’s face.
  • Perhaps one of my favorite scenes in the movie, (without saying who or giving away spoilers) a character in the movie gets shot in the face from 4 feet away, by a 12 gauge shotgun.  A friend of the person that got shot finds him laying there and shakes his body screaming, “Talk to me!!”
    This movie was terrific.  If you are in the mood for a doozie, I suggest finding this movie and watching it…fast!  “To Live and Die in L.A.” is totally on my list of all time best cheesy actions films.

New shirt #2

    This is the second shirt we are releasing this week.  The suggestion came from an email from a customer on Etsy who noticed our “Cobra” onesie and asked us if we had an adult shirt version.  It was something that I had meant to do but had totally forgotten about it.  It is now done and it came out great!  This is also available in our Etsy and eBay shops and will be on the main site in a few days.  We have also made it available here on our blog as well.

Small $16.00 USD Medium $16.00 USD Large $16.00 USD X-Large $16.00 USD XXL $17.00 USD

Action Film Top 100: Mr. Majestyk

    The next film on the list that I’m watching is “Mr. Majestyk” starring the legendary Charles Bronson.
The description of the film is as follows:

“Cinema’s most rugged tough guy, Charles Bronson, threads his uncompromising coolness through a tight weave of car chases, shootouts and bare-knuckle brawling in this gritty, forceful action film (LA Herald-Examiner)! Bronson stars as Majestyk, an ex-con and Vietnam vet whose efforts to run a farm are thwarted by narrow-minded locals and corrupt cops. But when a Mafia hitman (Al Lettieri) destroys Majestyk’s crop, the farmer’s fuse is finally blown. With his rifle in hand and his girlfriend (Linda Cristal) at the wheel, he goes after the syndicate assassin. And from high-speed back-road chases to an explosive backwoods confrontation, mobster and maverick stalk each other: two of a kind, antagonists to the death.”

I haven’t been disappointed with a Bronson movie yet, even my wife sat through a few, one by herself.  Bronson had a series of films through “Cannon” that were really amazing (bad).  You can find montage’s of clips from these movies on you tube.  Here is  one of them and if this doesn’t make you want to watch them, you are in the wrong place.

No Retreat, No Surrender 2: OMG this is awful.

    I made it through “No Retreat, No Surrender 2: Raging Thunder” and it was beyond awful.  It had NOTHING to do with the first movie.  Some parts were so bad that I couldn’t help but laugh.  This “sequel” has Scott Wylde, an American kickboxer, going to Cambodia to rescue his girlfriend from Russian and Vietnamese troops.  Scott Wylde is played by Loren Avedon, who might possibly be the worst actor ever.  He was built like Bob Saget with Scott Baio hair.  His only saving grace was that he was a pretty impressive martial artist and the fight scenes were well choreographed.  Unfortunately the creative fight sequences were ruined by the unbelievable facial expressions and terrible acting. The main villain was most hilarious.  For some reason he had super strength and when he fought people, he was able to toss them as if he were a Marvel character.  To cap it off, the final fight scene may have been one of the most ridiculous final fight scenes that I have ever watched.  I’m not kidding.  It involves the main villain pulling a jeep into a crocodile pit by a rope while Wylde panics to try and start the jeep so that he can pull away instead of jumping out of the jeep that’s moving backwards 1 MPH.  It was amazing. How amazing?  This amazing:

So AOBG had this movie at the 100 spot right next to “Marked for Death” and “Dirty Harry”.  This is absurd.  So far, the top 100 list is not going well.  Stay tuned, in a few days I will announce what the net film is to watch, maybe you can watch it too!

Arnold Shirt #3

   It’s Friday!  We have the final shirt for the 3 shirt Arnold t-shirt release this week.  This shirt came out pretty awesome.  Back when we first started doing shirts we had a Terminator shirt that I wasn’t all that nuts about.  I love action films, and if I am going to be paying tribute to some of these masterpieces, it needs to be perfect.  This new Arnold shirt is fantastic and will be a great gift for any fan of the series.  This shirt will be available on our website next week sometime but is available for readers of this blog to order right here first!

Small $17.00 USD Medium $17.00 USD Large $17.00 USD X-Large $17.00 USD XXL $19.00 USD

Van Damme is still awesome.

    If you’re a casual fan, you probably know Van Damme from his classics like “Universal Soldier”, “Kickboxer”, “Bloodsport”, etc.  Die hard fans, like myself, have seen everything he’s made, which during the later years have been 80% garbage.  After the release of “JCVD”, Van Damme displayed  (to everyone that saw the movie) that he could act.  His main problem seemed to be the projects he was taking on.  Not all of the in the later year films were like “JCVD”, in fact 99% of them were not.  In  “Assassination Games”,  Van Damme is at his best again.  He is definitely a guy that looks way cooler the older he gets.  He goes from this:

To This:

    The film stars Scot Adkins and Van Damme.  I’ve never seen Scott Adkins in anything else but I was fairly impressed with him as an action star, he was pretty awesome.  Van Damme and Adkins play two rival assassins, one has a personal history with the target, the other is purely business.  The two have great chemistry and both play their parts perfectly.  Without getting too detailed, the film quality, action scenes, acting, and violence were better then most action films I’ve seen recently.  Its a shame these movies go straight to DVD as I think that people would go to the movies to see action flicks like these.  Instead we get watered down action movies full of teen heartthrobs and bad CGI.  Watch “Assassination Games” if you are in the mood for a good action film, its currently on Netflix streaming.

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