The KKK took my Costume Away…

    Halloween was pretty good this year.  Honestly, we were sort of dreading it because last year was crazy, or at least it seemed that way.  Like everything, its a learning experience.  We learned from the things we did wrong last year.  Here are a few rules for Halloween that we learned living in the city from two Halloweens at our house.

1)  One piece of candy per kid.
                 -A lot of the times, you get caught up in handing out candy, you think you are pretty awesome, and the next thing you know, you are out of candy way too early.

2)  Never let the kids see the stash.
                 -Keep your giant bowl full of candy inside the house and greet them outside with the candy in your hand.  Don’t let them have any time to look at the different options.  They have no choice.  They get what you give them.

3)  Keep different levels of Candy.
                 -This sound messed up, but its not.  It makes total sense.  Level 1 would be like Twix, Kit Kat, Snickers, etc.  Level 2 would be like fun dip, pixie sticks, candy corn, and then the dreaded Level 3 would be Fancy Filled, Max Citrus, Atomic Fireball, etc.  What’s that you say?  You have never heard of these Level 3 candies?  Nobody has..because they are disgusting.  They usually come in a 5 pound bag for a few bucks.  You keep the Level 1 candies for the kids you know and see in the neighborhood regularly.  The Level 2 candy is for the other kids with costumes, and the Level 3 is for the kids with no costumes, the weird parents that are trick or treating, or the loser 15 year old kid still going door to door.  Make them never want to come to your house again with a tasty Max Citrus.

4)  Use the palm technique.
                -Cuff the crappy candy in your hand so they cant see it and drop it in their bag, they won’t be able to tell what you just gave them.

Just a few rules to keep in mind to take control of your Halloween.  No problems this time!

This year I answered the door as the legendary “Destroyer”, an old time Pro Wrestler from Buffalo.

This man is amazing.  A true legend across continents.
This is the legendary owner of The Super Sweet Shirt Company paying tribute to Dick  Beyer “The Destroyer”.

So what’s with the title of this blog entry?  Well the mask I bought from “The Destroyer” himself fit me a little weird.  Nicole thought that maybe it looked a bit KKKish.  I got super defensive and said “No way!”.  So we did a little test, sending out pictures to some friends and asking them what they thought I looked like.  I received feedback like “Underwear bandit” and “is he wearing underwear on his head?”  Still no KKK references.  I was in the clear, and Nicole said it was cool that I greet the kids as the Destroyer.  The kids were sort of frightened, probably because I looked like I could pummel everybody and their parents.  Later that night, a group of sassy young ladies came up, mocking my costume as I gave them Level 3 candy, and one said, “Is that a KKK mask” jokingly.  They were laughing and they obviously knew that it was not as it looks nothing like one, minus the fact that its white.  But, I was forced to take it off.  Nicole said, “If one person is thinking it, then there are probably more.”  She was most likely right, although I was momentarily angry, not at Nicole, but at the fucking KKK for ruining my mask!  It still worked out though as I just put on my new felt Mobster hat and greeted the kids with a glass of whiskey on stones like someone straight out of Mad Men.  It was way more comfortable of a costume to be in.  Halloween this year……pretty cool.

Look out this week, I have a boat load of new items coming out for the Holiday.  I know i said I was halting all new designs until the new year, but I totally lied! Get ready!

Bills free Sunday = Shopping.

    Yesterday was a football free Sunday because the Bills are on a bye week.  Normally I would be more bummed out at the concept of a bye week for my team, but this year it seems that every Sunday the Bills don’t “make me want to shout,” they make me want to punch things.  So with that being said, its quite nice having a weekend off from being angry.  Nicole and I were able to get up, have our coffee, breakfast, and read the paper.  On a super rainy Sunday, this is the best way to go.  Besides the handful of order that came in over the weekend, I took Monday and Tuesday off to work on the house.  We decided to go out and do some shopping.  We of course grabbed more Christmas things, but with a few days before Halloween, the fall decorations were all on sale.  We were not going to do any Halloween decorations this year but we noticed that people on the street were stepping it up, and we don’t like to be left in the dark.  We had to kick it up a notch. 
    We had two planters that we had some fall Mums in, but we did something wrong and the Mums died.  According to numerous sources, it was hinted that you have to be a complete idiot to kill Mums…..we managed to.  So Nicole yanked them out, and we were able to create little Halloween themed planters!

   Hopefully the major storm on the way won’t be as major as its supposed to be…

I’m getting excited for Holidays…

   I find myself getting antsy in anticipation for the holidays.  Not because of all of your wonderful orders from supersweetshirts.com, but for the obnoxious joy of decorating.  Every day, I stare at the calender waiting for it to become acceptable to start putting up lights along with other amazing things.  This year I have some new additions to display at the home of the Super Sweet Shirt Co.

\

Like this…..I brought this baby back with me the weekend we went t o get married.  100% electric sex.
We found this gigantic wreath in the attic of my moms house.  She was going to toss it away…..no way.    I’ll get rid of that cheesy red ribbon, put a new cooler ribbon on it, and light this baby up!

And of course I will have a few more lights then I had last year.  If I could truly have my way, our house would pretty much be this…

I’m almost back.. it’s been a horrendous week…

    I have not been posting at all, and I have noticed that my hits have remained constant the entire time so i figured I’d explain.  Over the past week my grandpa passed away.  He was a great man, war veteran, and had a gigantic loving family.  His loss was pretty tough on us all.  Days later, I had to put my cat Lori down.  As ridiculous as this sounds in comparison to the loss of my grandfather, this loss was kind of a knockout blow to me.  I had Lori for 9 years, and truthfully the vet had always said that she would probably not last more than a couple years, and we would joke around and say, “Watch, she will live super long”, and she sort of did.  She was a dwarf, she had feline herpes, which gave her constant respiratory problems along with disgusting boogery sneezing fits.  All of this stuff made for really terrible bathing experiences for her as her white fur was commonly stained with boogers and her ass and tail was knotty and gross.  She had been a barn kitten, and I took her.  She was awesome.  Even though she was gross, she was awesome..and she knew it.  She thought she was gorgeous and walked around like a queen.  Its tough when you lose something that was pretty much by your side during the “growing up” course of your life.  She was there for all if the mistakes, the good times, the good break ups, the bad, and she was there to eventually see me married to my amazing wife Nicole.  I’m just starting to get over losing her and I wanted to chronicle one last goodbye to her on here.  We love you Lori, hope you’re somewhere that they allow you on the furniture.

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑