Mid-Week Rant: Paper Straws Are Bullshit in Milkshakes

Last weekend I took my daughter out for an ice cream. Roughly two years ago, our brave leaders here in NY eliminated plastic bags and straws. We have mostly adjusted to this, and while I could go into all of my problems with this half assed legislation – this post is about paper straws.

I’m and adult (mostly), so my encounters with straws are few and far between. I also don’t get fast food often. Over the weekend I took my daughter out for a leisurely bike ride and a stop for ice-cream. This time she decided to go with this milkshake sort-of-thing. It was a chocolate milkshake with two cookies in it, some whip cream, fudge, etc. Back in my day (when everyone was normal), we used to have either a big plastic straw, or my personal favorite – the straw with the spoon on the end. Fucking genius.

My daughter gets her milkshake, sits down, and starts going to town. I of course notice the stupid straw and was counting down the minutes until that functioning paper tube turned into a soggy paper stick. This happened in roughly 5 minutes.

Who are we kidding here?! I am obviously down with paper straws in soda’s. But for something like a milkshake, it is perhaps the dumbest thing ever!



Super Sweet Shirt co.


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